Wednesday, March 19, 2014

March 19, 2014

Today has been a good day -- everyone got up on time and with the weather not-so-cold, the elder daughter decided to ride the bus.

I made it a habit of dropping my younger one, Maya. Anytime Maya heads to the car, our little 4-legged Oliver, the dog runs before anyone to hop in the car. There is nothing more refreshing to see a dog catching cool, fresh air with the window slightly cracked open.

My day then began with multiple cups of coffee. Knowing that I will be admitted tomorrow, there have been near non-stop phone calls and a flurry of emails.

I want you all to know that I appreciate your prayers and support immensely.

As I sat at my work desk with a single / small light to illuminate my laptop, my mind was racing with many 'reflections'.

Chief among them is my wife, my two daughters and my 79-year old mother. Throughout 2013, they stood by me every step of the way.

I can never tell or imagine what goes on in my wife's mind. Even during my worst times (when I didn't wake up for 2 days), she kept her poise and believed in the doctors. Her inner strength is one I am jealous off.

I am not a romantic person -- I am as direct as one gets. So, it is immensely hard to convey my appreciation in any other way, other than a simple, direct THANK YOU.

We are blessed to have two beautiful daughters who are very much like my wife. If there is a competition in the house as to who sheds the most amount of tears, I would be first in line, and my wife would be last in line.

I will never understand their emotions this evening and what is to come tomorrow. One thing is for sure -- it is not fair in life to subject young children to the struggles of patients with illnesses like Cancer. It may harden them, but if there is a fairness switch, I would keep it in the 'off' position.

Well, here I am -- starring at the wall to the sound of the dishwasher and haven gotten of a phone call with a crying mother, trying to make a list of things I plan to do while the innocent tubes pump some unique combination of 'poison' into my body.

If I am able to see those individual rogue cells dying, I would take comfort in the fact the poison is doing some "good" sure doesn't feel fair (fairness question again) to know there is NO visible outcome from the 'poison' being pushed in.

Managed to get tax information in order. The next anxiety in line is refund or pay !

At this point and in the grand scheme of things, refund or pay more , seems insignificant...

On that note, I am signing off for the evening / night -- hoping for a bright and sunny start to tomorrow !

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