Tuesday, March 18, 2014

March 18, 2014 | 2

I hope everyone got to enjoy a bit of Sun. It certainly brightens one's day.

I will soon (Thursday) be entering into unchartered water (except for chemo, not the side effects) and discussions around the various "things" inside a DNA.

As the doctors have repeatedly explained to me that I may be "forced" into a clinical trial environment.

Up until late afternoon, the magnitude of the 'clinical trial' or the bone marrow transplant itself had not hit me.

Had a cup of coffee and checked my Gmail -- and there it was in black & white -- a copy of the most recent bone marrow biopsy. I know it has travelled to (my brother's lab) Harvard and I am hoping their collective brains can make me understand what could happen...

In the meantime, from some unknown source, butterflies have entered my stomach. Lack of appetite, standing in weird places inside the house, in a penchant mood (thinking selfishly about my day), instead of fixing snacks for the girls.

After my prolonged stay at the hospital and subsequent trips to the hospital, last year, drained all my energy and left me 'deeply depressed'.

This is the first time I am disclosing that since 1992 I have had to live with mild-stronger form of depression. Until about 2000, I was also getting severe migraines.

As I near the time to check into the hospital, my anxiety and depressive mood-swings are beginning to join my party along with the butterflies.

Depression is a medical illness. If you are hiding it or wishing it would go away, please consult your doctor.

I have couple of more hours to work on Taxes and keep myself busy.

Cheers and have a good day.


  1. I would have never guessed that you suffer from depression. Sorry to hear.

  2. Suresh, I think we all go through depression at at least one point in our lives. Personally, I experienced that as an 11 year old during the Gulf War. I didn't even realize that I was depressed till I worked with a professional a couple years ago. we are all human and all vulnerable. Admitting our weaknesses and seeking help is admirable, in my opinion. Adam and I are keeping you in our thoughts. Yesterday, in my yoga practice, I dedicated my intention to your health. We are here for you and your family.